Borrow the Book
Why asking someone for a small favor makes them like you more — and what that says about which way belief actually travels.
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The story A rival attacks Ben Franklin on the Assembly floor. Franklin refuses to flatter him. What does he do instead? Tap to see the answer The story He asks to borrow a book. The man owned a rare volume, and Franklin wrote asking to borrow it for a few days. It arrived at once. A week later he returned it with a note of thanks. The next time they met, the rival spoke to him civilly for the first time — and they stayed friends until the man died. Tap to flip back
The rule Who’s readier to do you a second kindness: someone you helped, or someone who helped you? Tap to see the answer The rule Someone who helped you. That was Franklin’s own conclusion, and it contradicts the model most of us run on: feel first, act second. Much of the time the arrow points the other way. Behavior isn’t the output of belief. It’s the input. Tap to flip back
The experiment 1969. Three groups win prize money from an experimenter they don’t much like. Which group ends up liking him most? Tap to see the answer The experiment The group he personally asked to give the money back. They rated him higher than people who kept their winnings. A second group returned the same money at a secretary’s request and showed no comparable gain. Same cost. Only the direct, personal ask moved the needle. (Jecker & Landy, 1969) Tap to flip back
The explanation “I went out of my way for him” and “I don’t like him” can’t comfortably coexist. Which one gives way? Tap to see the answer The explanation The attitude. The behavior already happened, in public, and can’t be recalled. The opinion is private, unwitnessed and endlessly revisable, so that’s what gets edited. He must have deserved it. I must like him more than I thought. This is Festinger’s cognitive dissonance at work. Tap to flip back